Wink from Heaven: April 2005

Monday, April 11, 2005

April 11, 2005

Our dear family and friends,
Three months ago we were in the hospital preparing to bring Caleb home to spend his final days with us. Last week, Caleb celebrated his 3 month birthday! Words can hardly express the gratitude we feel for such a precious gift!

Caleb's whole body just radiates with love! When I hold him, I just love how his sweet little body melts right into mine. I love the quiet moments I spend rocking Caleb and gazing at his face. I love to listen to him breathing, and he loves it when I lay by him and put my face right up against his. I just love his long fingers, and I am tickled every time his little hand finds mine and rests there. I know that the love I feel for him began long before he was reunited with us here. When I am with my little boys, I remember what Heaven felt like. Caleb reminds me each day that the most important things in our lives are those that we hold in our arms, in our laps, and in our hearts...

A few days ago I gave Caleb his first hair cut! I couldn't stop giggling while I was turning his head and buzzing up the sides. When I finished, I gave him a bath and smothered him with lotion and kisses. As I took a few "first hair-cut" pictures, I couldn't hold back the tears that brought me to my knees to thank Heavenly Father for another sweet moment with my little boy.

Josh and Matthew adore their baby brother! They include him in all of their brother adventure stories! They love to lay by him and put their cheeks right next to his. Matthew enjoys putting his stretchy bugs on Caleb's head for me to find, and Josh can always sooth Caleb by gently stroking the side of his face while he talks to him.

As I've reflected on the tears, the tenderness, the gratitude and joy that the past 3 months has brought, I think of some of my new favorite scriptures:
Psalm 30:5..."weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
Psalm 30:11-12 "Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness. To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever.
Caleb's first Easter. What sweet reflections we have about the joys of resurrection.

Caleb is so loved by his brothers. We even caught a smile on camera on this special day!

Friday, April 1, 2005

April 2005

Caleb's first trip to the park! We had our monitors in tow and I just manually syringed his feeding to him while we were there. Josh and Matthew were tickled to have a park outing all together!

Caleb's first trip in the car since coming home from the hospital. After almost 4 months on oxygen, he seems like he does okay without it, so we decided to visit grandma and grandpa! It was the first time we have gone anywhere as a whole family since he was born!

I took a bunch of pictures of Caleb in his blessing outfit because it was huge on him when we blessed him in the hospital. He looks just like an angel!

Brother's just have to HUG!

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.