Wink from Heaven: February 2005

Thursday, February 24, 2005

February 24, 2005

February 24, 2005

Hi our family and friends that we love!
Caleb is 7 weeks old today! He is doing well and now weighs 8 pounds 5 ounces! His little cheeks are getting chubby, and he's starting to grow into his skin! He is an absolute delight and we're so thankful you let us continue to share our sweetheart with you!
In our little family I have a birthday tradition of making up trivia questions for the birthday person- so here are a few "Caleb Trivia" questions you might not know:)

1. What are Josh's nicknames for Caleb?
Mister Caleb Bubbas (I'm not sure why- but he and Matthew call him "Bubbas" quite often:)

2. What are Matthew's nicknames for Caleb?
"Ta-wub" Bubbas Little Cay

3. What Color is Caleb's eye
BLUE

4. Who do Caleb's hands look like-- Mom or Dad?
MOM-- nice long fingers!

5. What are Caleb's favorite songs that the boys sing him?
I am a child of God
Families can be together forever

6. What does Matthew leave in Caleb's crib every day?
New toys for him to "play with"-- the other day I walked in and Caleb had a big rubber lizard laying across his tummy with the head right next to his. I knew Matthew had been visiting him!

7. What does Caleb's pediatrician call him?
His "little Israelite prince"-- and "Elder Caleb"

8. What does Josh bring to church with him so that he can check on Caleb whenever he feels worried about him?
A cell phone

9. Where does Caleb have the most hair?
In the back! He has a lot more hair than either of our other boys. On top, he has a nice little spike that the boys love to poke up and rub their faces on.

10. How many wires and tubes does Caleb have attached to him?
4- one on each side of his chest to monitor his breathing and heart rate- one feeding tube- and one sat monitor on his foot that monitors his oxygen saturation and heart rate.

11. Who does Caleb love the most?
All of you for loving and serving him and his family!!!!!!

Happy 7 week birthday Caleb!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

February 15, 2005

Hi our favorite family and friends,
Caleb is almost 6 weeks old! We truly cherish each day we have with him. Taking care of him doesn't feel like work, it feels like such a privilege. He is so beautiful and full of love. Our hearts are so full of love for him, and the love we feel in return from him is so amazing.

His doctors and nurses are amazed that he appears to be thriving given his circumstances! We have a sweet pediatrician who makes house calls to come and check on Caleb. He says "Caleb is just being loved into being here." Our hospice nurse has shared with her department how responsive Caleb is and how much he loves being loved. They are all amazed when they see how he Caleb responds to me. I think that Caleb and Heavenly Father know that it heals my heart to see that Caleb knows that I'm his mother.

The other day we unhooked Caleb from all of his monitors and his feeding tube. We put him in the real bathtub with his two brothers and let them all have a bath together! It was just priceless to see 'my 3 sons' all in the tub with one another. Josh and Matthew were tickled to have a bath with their baby brother, and Caleb loved it! His cute little body just floated in the water while I held his head and lathered him up!

Every Thursday we celebrate a birthday for Caleb as he turns 1 week older. Josh and Matthew love to celebrate with him and sing "Happy birthday." Yesterday they each taped a Valentine to Caleb's crib and sang "Happy Valentines Day to you!" Caleb is teaching us how wonderful it is to find the joy in each day and live in the present.

I was visiting with my mom recently, and we were discussing whether or not Caleb can see out of his sweet little eye. We both agreed that it didn't matter because Caleb can truly "see" more than we can. My mom later shared a scripture she found in Matthew 6:22

"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thane eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."

I found a similar scripture in D&C 88:67
"And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehended all things."

We are so thankful for our little miracle. The overwhelming love we feel for him gives us just a glimpse of the way that our Heavenly Father loves us. The tenderness of knowing our time with him will be limited is also surrounded by so much sweetness. I wish there was a "heart language" that could portray the sweetness that surrounds us as we watch our 3 boys love each other, as we feel Caleb's sweet little body in our arms, and as we feel the love that has filled our home to overflowing.

Thank you for "loving our little boy into being here" Thank you for loving our little family and our little Caleb. He is full of love and light!

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Caleb's four week birthday!

(from my journal)
...Happy four week birthday, Caleb! We hung a Happy birthday sign over your crib today You were visited by 4 of my aunts and they brought you a special window box where we can display your special things....I am so humbled as I whitness the way that you touch hearts and change lives everyday. You have united our entire ward and extended family. You have taught us what perfect love feels like. I watch the way people linger at your crib side and don't want to leave your presence...

Shortly after Caleb was born, a sweet friend from our ward came over to take a family picture of us. It was really important to me to have a family picture with all of my little boys since we don't know how long we get to have Caleb with us.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

Special days with Caleb

We have a birthday party every week for Caleb! Every Thursday we make a special treat and sing happy birthday to Caleb! We just love every minute!

January 18, 2005 (from my journal) You are such a special little boy. Your body is so small, yet your spirit has filled our whole house with love....every moment I get with you is pure joy. I'm trying not to look to far into your future and just soak in every minute...

Matthew loves to share his toys with Caleb! Josh and Matthew are so sweet with Caleb. They spend a lot of time at his bed side singing him songs and holding his hands. They've had a hard time leaving the house because they don't want to leave their brother behind. I finally had to give them both pictures they could keep in their pockets and a cell phone so they could call and check on him any time they wanted.

Heaven sent...
We were blessed with a little boy who always winked!
Caleb's brain did not form, and doctors didn't expect him to live for more than a few weeks. After 8 days in the NICU doctors sent us home saying there was nothing more they could do. Among his various physical challenges, Caleb was missing one of his eyes. Even though he was never be able to say "I love you" with words, he told us every day with his "wink!" His little wink was a daily message of love from heaven.

Caleb’s spirit radiated pure love. He brought the love of God and light of Christ into the lives of all who knew him. Caleb’s life was a precious gift and a tender miracle. His winking eye was a daily reminder of Caleb’s deep love for all of us. Caleb could have quickly returned to heaven but instead he brought heaven to us for seven years.

Caleb was a precious gift to our family, and now it is our priveledge to live in such a way that we will be reunited with him forever.

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.