The privilege of caring

Have you ever had the privilege of caring for something so beautiful
it took your breath away?
I have.
Have you ever cared so much
you couldn't find the words to describe it?
I have.

Sometimes I'm asked what our biggest challenges are in caring for Caleb.
It's not the hospital stays or therapy appointments.
It's not the dressings and diaper changes.
It's not his trach or his g tube cares.
It's not his medications or his monitors.
Taking care of Caleb is a part of the privilege of having him.
I think hardest part of caring so much is knowing
that some day I might have to say good bye.
But, even that worry is a tender part of the privilege of caring.

Sometimes we have challenges,
sometimes we're worried, sometimes we're sad,
sometimes we're disappointed, sometimes we're sick.
But it's all a part of the privilege of being here
and experiencing mortality to the fullest.
Sometimes we have challenges
but the plan is still perfect.
We are lovingly cared for
more than we can ever imagine.
When we look down deep we'll see that
what we have is beautiful.
It is perfect.

I love caring for Caleb.
He is perfect to me.
It is privilege that I can't find the words to describe.
It fills my heart
To care so deeply
and it takes my breath away
every day.

Matthew recently told me, "Mom, I just hope that when Caleb is resurrected he'll still have his winking eye because it's just so cute!"
I couldn't agree more!