Wink from Heaven: May 2013

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Mormons Take Manhattan... wink!

We recently visited New York City with some of our dearest friends!

Here's a wink from Times Square!

and we're winking in the subway too!

Friday, May 17, 2013

This book is dedicated to...

I recently attended an author celebration day for Mitchell's kindergarten class. As he opened his book to share his poems, I was so touched by the dedication page he had included...

There's no other love like the love for a brother.

There's no other love like the love from a brother.

Terri Guillemets

Thursday, May 16, 2013

A Caribbean Wink!

Our sweet Hailey recently went on a cruise and sent us a "wink" all the way from the Caribbean!

Hailey spent many nights caring for Caleb, and we still love to spend time together. She has become a special part of our family!

We love you!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Caleb's New Headstone

It took us almost a year to order Caleb's headstone. I think there was a part of me that still wanted to have one more thing to do for him.

This past December it felt like the right time so we ordered it right before Christmas.
Dallan came home just after Easter with the temporary marker in hand and told me Caleb's headstone was there. It was tender to see that temporary marker removed. The first time I went to see the new headstone I couldn't breath.

It felt so permanent.

As I have returned to see his new headstone I imagine seeing my family grow in pictures as they gather around Caleb's name. I imagine my boys will take their own families here and show their children their names on the back and talk to them about their brother and eternal families. Caleb's grave is a sweet place to me.

Now I can breath.

Caleb's headstone isn't permanent. It is still a temporary marker to celebrate the beauty of each day and our faith in God's plan.

My dear friends Anita and Linda came to see it with me shortly after it was placed.

Anita brought the song "Consider the Lilies of the Field" to the hospital right after I had Caleb. She brought him lilies on his first birthday... and she and Linda brought lilies to place at his grave.

I cherish them more than words can say.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Easter Sunday

In anticipation of Easter we used each family home evening in March to reflect on the Savior's life and ministry. It was tender for me to hear the testimonies of my sons as they shared stories from the Savior's life each week. As I listened to them recount the miracles of Jesus' ministry, my heart was filled as I reflected on the miracles we have experienced this past year.

After Caleb was born and we were given a terminal prognosis, my dad gave me a father's blessing. In it he promised me I would learn the atonement can heal a broken heart.

As I was sitting in sacrament meeting 3 days after Caleb died, that image of me holding my fragile baby with my father's hands on my head unfolded in my memory.

My heart broke into a million pieces when Caleb died. This past year I have experienced the healing balm of the atonement every single day. I know the Savior's atonement can heal a broken heart. I know because He continues to heal mine.

I miss Caleb every day. I long to hold him in my lap, not just in my heart. But I am also filled with peace. I know he is close to us and is ever engaged in our well being. I know the love we have for each other continues to grow as we do what Heavenly Father asks of us.

How can I ever thank my older Brother for overcoming my every heart ache? How do I thank Him for putting my heart back together in such gentle and tender ways? He walked a lonely road from Gethsemane to Calvary so I need never walk alone. I know He has been by my side every single day. I pray I will always stand by Him the way he ever stands with me during tender and joyful times. I know I can trust Him with my heart. Completely.

Jesus Christ died on a Friday. Sweet Caleb also died on a Friday. I anticipate the same joyful reunion the Savior had with his devoted followers on that sacred resurrection Sunday, and know that our Sunday will come too.

I am forever thankful.

"Brothers and sisters. One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so.

His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path- the merciful are of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of his beloved son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets, apostles, teachers leaders and friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel.

Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone or unaided...truly the Redeemer of us all said: "I will not leave you comfortless. My Father and I will come to you and abide with you."

Jeffrey R Holland

Heaven sent...
We were blessed with a little boy who always winked!
Caleb's brain did not form, and doctors didn't expect him to live for more than a few weeks. After 8 days in the NICU doctors sent us home saying there was nothing more they could do. Among his various physical challenges, Caleb was missing one of his eyes. Even though he was never be able to say "I love you" with words, he told us every day with his "wink!" His little wink was a daily message of love from heaven.

Caleb’s spirit radiated pure love. He brought the love of God and light of Christ into the lives of all who knew him. Caleb’s life was a precious gift and a tender miracle. His winking eye was a daily reminder of Caleb’s deep love for all of us. Caleb could have quickly returned to heaven but instead he brought heaven to us for seven years.

Caleb was a precious gift to our family, and now it is our priveledge to live in such a way that we will be reunited with him forever.

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.