I'll always be with you...

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember.  You are braver than you believe, stronger that you seem, and smarter than you think.  But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you."

Winnie the Pooh

May your hearts be filled with love this memorial day...

Caleb's Pets

Last summer our little pet rabbit "Lu Lu" died. Oh we were so tender. It was my children's first experience seeing something they dearly loved die. My sweet boys carved Lu Lu's name onto a little headstone they made for her so she would always have a special place. In a quiet part of my heart I wondered if this experience was preparing them to lose their brother... Seven months later Caleb passed away.  One of the first things Mitchell asked after Caleb died was, "Do you think Caleb gets to have Lu Lu for a pet in heaven?" 

For Easter Caleb got a little brown rabbit to share with his brothers so they could know he was taking good care of Lu Lu for them.  

This past weekend our little special goldfish died.  Our boys were so tender about it.  They didn't want to flush him, so we we buried him next to Lu Lu.   

The first thing Mitchell said was, "Now Caleb gets to have a pet gold fish too!"

Mitchell's Way

The other Day I walked into Caleb's room and saw Mitchell sitting in Caleb's bed with all of Caleb's special things around him. He was being so quiet and gentle that I just stood in the doorway and watched for a while.

When he crawled crawled out of bed, he took all of those things with them and lined them up at the computer so they could watch PBS kids together. 

He had found a sweet little way to feel close to Caleb that day

With Caleb's treasures:

The mouse that Aunt Alisa made

 Winkie bear from his primary teacher

 Lu Lu the bunny

and Nibbles, the Lizard Matthew would put in his hand every morning.

On the Calendar

This morning as I looked at my calendar I saw the last appointment I had for Caleb written down for today.  I couldn't bring my myself to erase it.  I loved seeing him listed with the rest of the days events.  With a tender heart, I've been thinking about what appointments Caleb had today instead. 

I'm sure he was doing something wonderful.

Wink Day, May 10th

For Wink Day this month I taught our boys how to play Tiddly "Winks".  I have sweet memories of my Grandpa teaching me how to play when I was a little girl.

Each time it was our turn, we'd say something we loved about Caleb then take our shot.

When we finished the game, we wrote in our wink journals about how we would share a wink this month then went to the cemetery for a few minutes.

When we got to the cemetary it was empty except for one man who was walking on the opposite side of the grounds- my Dad.   I waved at him and he ran across the grass and wrapped me in his arms.  I was surprised to see him there and asked how often he stopped by.  He said "Oh, a couple of times a week. I like to check on Caleb and my parents...   

I had no idea. 

 I was touched to tears to know that my dad was quietly watching over the people he loves. 

Thanks Dad. 

 Our chance meeting touched me more than you will ever know.

A Wink at Arches!

We recently took a day trip to Arches National Park and had a wonderful adventure together!

It tugs at our hearts that it is so easy to pack up and go. We miss the time it took to pack the wheel chair, feeding pumps, oxygen tanks, and suction supplies.  Going on a trip that simply wouldn't have worked with Caleb is such a tender reminder that he isn't here. However we want to continue to make happy memories together,  so we take a "Wink" with us whenever we go! It's our way to keep Caleb in our family pictures and feel his spirit with us!  

I know Caleb will always be close to us...

And I know that no matter where we go, we'll always find a way to share a wink!