Wink from Heaven: June 2013

Thursday, June 13, 2013

A Washington Wink

Thanks for the wink from Washington Chris and Missy!

We love you!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

This year I was invited to be a presenter at BYU women's conference. The topic I was assigned was how to have less contention in our homes. I chose to focus on the power of our presence and am so thankful for experiences I had with Caleb that I was able to share in my presentation. By the worlds standards Caleb wasn't able to do anything... but his presence was full of love and light. He taught me that one person's presence can be a powerful influence...

Some of my favorite memories of the day:

* When I picked up my mom, she gave me a surprise my sister Ashley had left in her fridge. Ashley, her husband and mother in law had made me a corsage with a lily in it. They also made one for Caleb. On the card that was attached it said one word. "Wink."
What a perfect way to wish me luck!

* I loved spending the day on campus with my mom. We ate yummy Costa Vida Salads for lunch then got double scoop ice cream cones for dinner (with chocolate covered strawberries for dessert!)

* It tickled my heart to see my sweet husband and Dad sitting front and center in front in a room full of hundreds of women. Now if you know my dad, driving through construction, finding parking on campus, and finding your way through a crowd of of women says I. Love. You.

* I loved seeing the faces of dear friends... and meeting new ones too!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Memorial Day

This year for Memorial Day weekend we visited Caleb's grave on Sunday evening. I liked being there when it wasn't quite so busy. We enjoyed sitting under the tree and talking about the things we loved and remembered about our Caleb. Last memorial day was so tender for me...this one was softer...it was a sweet time to fill our hearts with remembering.

We spent Sunday night at my parents cabin and on Monday enjoyed sleeping in, going on a hike and having a yummy barbecue.

When Mitchell got tired on our hike I taught him the magic way to get more hiking energy. You find a pine needle, break it in half then take a big sniff and it fills you with energy. Mitchell filled his pocket with pine needles and every time he would break one and sniff, he'd take off at full speed! "Thanks for teaching me about the magic" he said, as we walked up the path toward the cabin.

Mitchell was also convinced he uncovered a Big Foot skeleton and footprints! As we walked back to the cabin he about had a heart attack when my dad jumped around a corner pretending to be big foot!

I am thankful for sweet, tender and funny memories this memorial day.

Mother's Day

In our Faith we have missionaries all over the world sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. In the two years they are gone from their families, they get to call home on Christmas and Mother's day.

This Mother's day I found myself wishing my missionary in heaven was able to call home. I would love to hear about his experiences, those who he is teaching, and what his area is like.

We visited Caleb's grave that evening, and I know that he was close. In those moments when I miss him beyond description a quote from a recent article comes to mind.

"Grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid grief would be not to experience the love, and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning."

from the article,"The Refining Fire of Grief"

I am so thankful for the privilege of loving so deeply.

That ache in my heart is a sacred thing to carry...

Being the mother of Caleb and his brothers fills my heart to overflowing. Knowing they are mine forever is the most meaningful mother's day gift I could ever receive.

Heaven sent...
We were blessed with a little boy who always winked!
Caleb's brain did not form, and doctors didn't expect him to live for more than a few weeks. After 8 days in the NICU doctors sent us home saying there was nothing more they could do. Among his various physical challenges, Caleb was missing one of his eyes. Even though he was never be able to say "I love you" with words, he told us every day with his "wink!" His little wink was a daily message of love from heaven.

Caleb’s spirit radiated pure love. He brought the love of God and light of Christ into the lives of all who knew him. Caleb’s life was a precious gift and a tender miracle. His winking eye was a daily reminder of Caleb’s deep love for all of us. Caleb could have quickly returned to heaven but instead he brought heaven to us for seven years.

Caleb was a precious gift to our family, and now it is our priveledge to live in such a way that we will be reunited with him forever.

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.