Christmas Day

Caleb's favorite gift this year...
being home for the holidays
with his brothers

they helped him open gifts,

get a good look

and hold them in his hands.

There's no place like home for the holidays.

Cozy Christmas Eve

Caleb's settling down for a long Winter's nap

With his cozy teddy tucked in by his lap.

He knows he's been good in every way

And that Santa is coming in his magic sleigh!

Sleep tight little one!

Nativity

On Christmas Eve we acted out the Nativity. Caleb made the perfect baby Jesus.

He was wrapped in cozy sweats

and laid in a tumble form chair.

He recieved treasures from wise men and a little racoon.

Caleb held his special gifts for the rest of the evening.

Visions of sugar plums

Caleb is nestled all snug in his bed

while visions of sugar plums

dance over head

Caleb's Christmas Wish

Last year on Christmas Eve Caleb was admitted to Primary Children's hospital. We drove through a blinding snowstorm to get there and spent a long night in the ER. In the wee hours of the morning, my husband came home so he could be there when our little boys woke up on Christmas morning. I stayed in the hospital with Caleb as he continued to worsen and eventually ended up in the pediatric ICU. I woke up on Christmas morning to the beeping lights on the ventilator and longed for the lights on my Christmas tree. I cried.
I've been reflecting on that Christmas with a tender heart. So this year, as we are hoping to spend the holidays all together, we have been thinking of families who will not. Many warm hearts and helping hands made it possible for us to deliver 120 packages for parents who are in the hospital with a sick child over the holidays! Friends, church members, youth, local buisnesses, and even strangers made it possible for us to compile these care packages. We are touched beyond words.
I know that if Caleb could speak he would tell us that his greatest Christmas wish is to reach out and love others. Thank you to many warm hearts and helping hands for making Caleb's Christmas wish come true!

In His hands

The Polar Express

Dear Caleb,
Today we were able to go on the Polar Express with other "Make a Wish" families. You weren't feeling good enough to come with us this time, but we carried you in our hearts all day. Thank you for being willing to be cozy at home with Daddy while we had a Christmas adventure. Whenever we ring our bells, we will think of you and your special Christmas spirit. We love you Caleb, and we really missed you today.
Love, Mom

Visitor from New Hampshire

A special friendship doesn't always need words.

Heaven sent

Heaven has been in my home this week. Caleb, Chloe, Hunter & Ben brought it. As their mothers, we know what a privilege it is to take care of our special children and having them in one room was simply... heaven. We held Heaven in our laps as we held each other's children, and we held Ben in our hearts since he needed to be home in New Hampshire.

(Left to right) My bit of Heaven...Caleb
Becky's bit of Heaven...Ben
Emily's bit of Heaven...Hunter
Tara's bit of Heaven...Chloe

Me with Hunter

Emily with Caleb

Tara with Caleb

Me with Chloe
Becky with Caleb

Becky with Hunter

Friends such as these are truly heaven sent.

These sweet ladies take heaven with them wherever they go. I am honored to have the gift of their friendship and love.

One year ago today...

One year ago today we brought Caleb home from the hospital with a new trach. We agonized for months before finally deciding to go ahead with the surgery. I was so afraid. That day I wrote...

I've been making arrangements for my other boys, cleaning my house, packing my bags, and working on Christmas cards- and now that I'm all ready, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it's going to be overwhelming to take care of Caleb in a new way. I'm afraid I won't hear his voice again. I'm afraid that I won't be able to bathe him the same way. I'm afraid that Caleb will be hurting, and I'm afraid my other boys are worried. I'm afraid of going back to the hospital because it has always been such a dramatic experience. I'm afraid that Caleb will be afraid...
The year prior to Caleb's trach surgery, he had a severe case of RSV. He almost didn't make it through that hospital stay. The following months were filled with worry as we watched Caleb turn blue and struggle to breath. He battled pneumonia over and over again. There were many long nights when I held Caleb's mouth open so that he wouldn't obstruct his breathing. I was so afraid to take the next step. I wasn't sure what was best for Caleb. So I prayed. Then I made the appointment for the surgery. I made arrangements for my family. I packed for a hospital stay. On the day of the surgery I was still afraid, but I felt good enough to keep moving forward.
It has been a year. It's been a better year for Caleb. His trach has been a blessing to us and to him. There are many times when I am afraid of what the future holds for Caleb. I'm so tender for him, and I worry. But when I ask, Heavenly Father helps replace my fear with faith- even if it means moving forward one hesitant step at a time,
I can do it
because He holds my hand.
Every step of the way.

Bladder battles

Caleb is still battling bladder infections. These infections have been Caleb's greatest challenge for the past 4 months. He just started a second antibiotic to see if we can finally clear the current infection. Then, hopefully we'll find the right prophylactic dose so we can keep them from re-surfacing! We're crossing our fingers!
Dear Caleb,
Thank you for being brave while we try to figure out how to help you feel better. Even when you feel yucky, you still find sweet ways to reassure us that you know we are doing our very best. I love you my sweet boy.

With bells on

I love finding evidence that brothers have been here...

Fun Run Pictures!