Wink from Heaven: October 2005

Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween time 2005

Caleb dressed up like a bumble bee! We were even able to bring him to our ward trunk or treat activity!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A week after Caleb's shunt surgery, he became really sick with a virus. He was admitted to primary chidren's for 24 hours to have an IV and see if he could keep fluids in his little body. Luckily,he recovered within a few more days.
(from my journal) Caleb, even in the hospital feeling sick, you have a love within you that radiates. All of your nurses were so touched with your sweet spirit. They sent you home with a stuffed seal and a cozy blanket. One nurse specifically came to visit with me during a quiet moment to share how touched she was by you...

Sunday, October 9, 2005

October 9, 2005

Our dear family and friends,
Over the past few days we've pulled out our sweaters and turned on our furnace! There's nothing quite like feeling warm and cozy at home when it's cold and cloudy outside. We just wanted to share with you some of the ways our hearts have been warmed this weekend.

Caleb recently turned 9 months old! His little body just shines with peace and love, and his sweet smile warms us right through. On Friday morning, Caleb had surgery on his head to have a shunt placed in his brain. The shunt will help regulate the fluid in his brain, and will help control his head growth. We have been anxious and worried about the outcome of an invasive surgery, but have also felt the peace that it was appropriate for Caleb's growth and learning.

Caleb's surgery was successful and he was able to come home last night! He has a "c" shaped incision on the top of his head, a small incision behind his right ear, and another incision on his stomach. He is doing well, and we have him on oxygen to help with his breathing until we reduce his pain medications. He seems so happy to be home, and he immediately smiled as he heard the voices of his big brothers!

It was really hard to place Caleb into the capable doctor's hands, even though I made them promise numerous times to take good care of him. I prayed that Heavenly Father would wrap his arms around Caleb and snuggle him the way I would if I was there. As we were waiting in the waiting room, I gained a greater understanding of the Love that our Heavenly Father has for each of us. It must have been really hard for him to allow us to leave His presence even though He knew it was appropriate for our learning and growth. He knew He was placing us in capable hands that would take good care of us- and that His loving care would continue. We know Heavenly Father has blessed us with each one of you to wrap your arms around us and take good care of us the way that he does. My heart was warmed as I reflected on the many times that His love has been made manifest to us through your capable and loving hands.
Caleb before and after surgery. He was so brave!

Heaven sent...
We were blessed with a little boy who always winked!
Caleb's brain did not form, and doctors didn't expect him to live for more than a few weeks. After 8 days in the NICU doctors sent us home saying there was nothing more they could do. Among his various physical challenges, Caleb was missing one of his eyes. Even though he was never be able to say "I love you" with words, he told us every day with his "wink!" His little wink was a daily message of love from heaven.

Caleb’s spirit radiated pure love. He brought the love of God and light of Christ into the lives of all who knew him. Caleb’s life was a precious gift and a tender miracle. His winking eye was a daily reminder of Caleb’s deep love for all of us. Caleb could have quickly returned to heaven but instead he brought heaven to us for seven years.

Caleb was a precious gift to our family, and now it is our priveledge to live in such a way that we will be reunited with him forever.

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.