Wink from Heaven: May 2005

Thursday, May 5, 2005

May 5, 2005

Dear friends we love!
Spring has made a grand appearance today after days of clouds and rain! I just got back from a walk with little Caleb and couldn't resist taking a moment to let you know how he is doing. I love taking Caleb outside to feel the sunshine and the springtime breeze. He gets so cozy in his stroller and usually falls right to sleep.

A few weeks ago I enjoyed celebrating my birthday, and do you know what???....Birthday wishes really do come true! My greatest wish was to celebrate with all 3 of my little boys. Celebrating with Caleb, Josh and Matthew was truly a birthday wish granted!

Josh and Matthew's new favorite thing to do with Caleb is "ultimate kissing festivals!" They'll call out, "one...two...three....ULTIMATE KISSING FESTIVAL!!!" Then they'll kiss Caleb a million times all over his little body! Matthew loves to take baths with Caleb and he'll hold Caleb's head in his lap while I lather him all up with soapy bubbles. Whenever I'm rocking Caleb in the rocking chair, Matthew likes to jump on my lap as well so we can do
"two-boy holding."

Josh knows how to turn off Caleb's "beeps" and is a great helper when I can't quite get there in time! Josh always finds quiet moments each day to snuggle and visit with Caleb. In his prayers he always says, "I'm so glad that Caleb could come to earth-I sure enjoy being with Caleb." I know that Heavenly Father hears the prayers of big brothers.

Caleb just loves being in the middle of whatever our family is doing. He would much rather be with us than under his oxygen tent, and now he can be away from his oxygen most of the time! He took his first car trip to Grandma and Grandpa Baadsgaard's house and was able to spend some time with his grandparents, aunts and uncles. It was our first outing together as a whole family since December! It was so fun, and Josh and Matthew were just tickled to see Caleb in his car seat.

Caleb's pediatrician is still coming to our home every few weeks to visit him. We are working with him to see how we can best help Caleb for the future. He is such a neat doctor and sees Caleb with the same hopeful heart that we do. We are looking into getting a shunt placed in his head to help regulate the fluid and his head growth. We are also looking into getting a feeding tube placed in his tummy so he won't always have to have one in his mouth and throat. We are thrilled that we are at a point where we get to have a new chapter in Caleb's story, yet it is still really tender to think about going back to the hospital. Caleb is showing us, though, that he wants to do all he can!! He loves to wiggle his little body and has really strong muscles! He works so hard to hold his head up and look around. He has the cutest giggle and a sweet little voice that calls me every morning to come and get him!

On Mother's day I was asked in primary what my favorite part of being a mom is. My first thought was spending the morning with my little boys. Matthew usually makes his appearance first. He says MAMMA!!!! Then gives me the "tightest hug in the world" He'll crawl into bed with me and put his toes right under me because they're "told" (cold). Josh joins us next and we always say "good morning sunshine" because Josh's smile warms us from head to toe. Then Caleb will start to call us with his sweet baby voice until he can come and snuggle with us. Life doesn't get much sweeter than those little moments of snuggling in between being asleep and being fully awake.

Sunday, May 1, 2005

April/May pictures

Caleb's first haircut! It took me a long time to cut Caleb's hair. When he was born the hospice team gave me an envelope that I could put a lock of hair in after he passed away, so my mind associated cutting his hair with saying goodbye. Luckily, I got to cut his hair just because it was getting too fluffy! He looks so cute, and I only got teary because it was another "first" for him!

Matthew shares his favorite "strechy critters" in silly ways!

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.