Wink from Heaven

Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day

Remembering our sweet Caleb with much love today...

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Easter

I love the Easter Season and all it represents. I know that my Redeemer lives and that he will not leave us comfortless. Through Him I know we will be with Caleb again.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

February 10, 2015: Caleb's Wink Day

February 10th will always be a day that is embedded in my heart...the day Caleb died. The day he continued his mission in a place I cannot see. I know he continues to teach, to love and to touch lives...just like he continues to touch mine.

Oh how I love and miss our precious boy!

Mitchell fell asleep snuggling Caleb's favorite dog. tender.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

A Hello from Heaven

Today in our ward conference the theme was "Let There Be Light." The scripture on the front of the program was a tender mercy from Heavenly Father- it is one of my favorite "Caleb scriptures" and seeing it today felt like a little hello from heaven.

D&C 88:67

"And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no more darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things." WINK!

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Caleb's 10th Birthday (part 2)

On Caleb's birthday we always visit the cemetery to sing to him. We each let a balloon go with a birthday wish and watch it until it disappears...

"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us."

Helen Keller

We love you forever sweet Caleb, you will always be such a special part of our family.

Caleb's 10th Birthday (Part 1)

For Caleb's birthday we set out a special treasure chest for each of our boys. Each year we add something to it to help them remember Caleb.

Caleb always gives the boys something to help them make a fun family memory. Last year we went to see Brian Regan! This year Caleb gave us a coupon to go to out to dinner and then to the nickelcade!

Caleb also gives the boys a way that they can feel close to him. This year since he would be turning 10 years old, he challenged his brothers to read 10 talk from the last General Conference. He knows that as we listen to the prophet and apostles, we will also feel close to him.

We also celebrated by visiting the cemetery, eating cake, and watching a DVD with pictures of our sweet boy. Caleb's birthday is a sweet day to celebrate the miracle of his life and the miracle of eternal families. As another year passes, we know we are one year closer to being together again.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas Eve with Caleb

"Because He came, death has lost its sting, the grave its victory. We will live again because He came...May His precious Spirit be with us, and may He ever be the center of our celebrations and indeed of our very lives.”
Thomas S Monson

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Memorial day

Tender moments are made sweet when you have dear friends to share them with .

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Easter: Remembering Caleb

I loved this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk

"Grateful in Any Circumstance"

In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.

How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Bubbles

When we first learned of Caleb's conditions our bubble of expectations seemed to burst. Caleb hadn't even been born yet, but all that we had hoped for was swept away after a few glances at his ultra sound. We knew that Caleb's conditions may not allow him to stay with us for very long. I never thought I would have to think about saying good bye so soon.

After Caleb was born I came to understand that God hadn't burst my bubble. He created one around us. I could almost see an iridescent sphere of love enveloping our home.

Bubbles capture light. They are perfectly formed and reflect light from the outside and the inside, just like Caleb. His pure essence invited a heavenly influence to surround our family. Our bubble of home bound medical care kept our focus on what matters most.

Again I felt like my bubble burst when Caleb died. I wanted to crawl back into that sweet world where my worries and heart ache were so carefully cushioned by heavens help. I longed for the same feeling of heavenly envelopment.

Though it is not the same, I know our bubble didn't disappear, but it is slowly changing shape as we adjust to new circumstances and life experiences. I hope we can continue to make our home a protected place that captures light and shares it.

Sorrow and Joy

"Sorrow and joy are two of the great factors that come into life to make it real."

Lucy Grant Cannon

Friday, May 9, 2014

Neal A Maxwell: Those who have required much waiting upon

"Indeed, some of those who have required much waiting upon in this life may be waited upon again by the rest of us in the next world—but for the highest of reasons."

Neal A. Maxwell was a President of the First Quorum of the Seventy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when this devotional address was given at Brigham Young University on 10 October 1978.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Remembering Caleb in Capital Reef

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A Florida Wink!

My sister and her husband recently returned to Utah after living in Florida! Before they left they sent us some sunshine and a "wink" from the Florida beach! Thanks for making our day!

A Wink from Eagle Mountain

Thanks for "wink" Sidwar Family! We love you a WHOLE bunch!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Because of Him

As we prepare for Easter, I am eternally grateful for all things possible because of Him.

Find some Easter inspiration here!

Heaven sent...
We were blessed with a little boy who always winked!
Caleb's brain did not form, and doctors didn't expect him to live for more than a few weeks. After 8 days in the NICU doctors sent us home saying there was nothing more they could do. Among his various physical challenges, Caleb was missing one of his eyes. Even though he was never be able to say "I love you" with words, he told us every day with his "wink!" His little wink was a daily message of love from heaven.

Caleb’s spirit radiated pure love. He brought the love of God and light of Christ into the lives of all who knew him. Caleb’s life was a precious gift and a tender miracle. His winking eye was a daily reminder of Caleb’s deep love for all of us. Caleb could have quickly returned to heaven but instead he brought heaven to us for seven years.

Caleb was a precious gift to our family, and now it is our priveledge to live in such a way that we will be reunited with him forever.

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.