Wink from Heaven: Wink Day- Six Months

Friday, August 10, 2012

Wink Day- Six Months

Dear Caleb,
It has been six months since you started a new chapter in your mission. Our hearts are so full of love for you, and we miss you every day. There are many things that I know:

1. I know where you are, and I know you are happy.
2. I know you have a special work to do, and I know you are busy.
3. I know that you keep a careful watch over our family, and that you love us.
4. I know you love Heavenly Father and the Savior and that you continue to be a special witness for Them.
5. I know you want us to be happy and continue to make joyful memories together.
6. I know I can trust Heavenly Father's plan for our family.

Even though I know these things with all of my heart, I'm still your mama and I ache for you.

1. I miss the overwhelming celestial spirit I felt every time I walked in your room in the morning.
2. I miss smothering you with lotion and kisses.
3. I miss wrapping you up in my arms and feeling your fuzzy hair tickle my nose.
4. I miss your soft fingers, your fluffy feet, and your wee little wink.
5. I miss seeing heaven shine out of your smiles.
6. I miss feeling your testimony when I held you close to my heart and listened.

Even though our hearts are tender, I hope you know:

1. We are still a joyful family, and we are making happy memories together.
2. Your brothers still help you when it's your turn for family prayer, and they always say "High Five Caleb" when we drive near the cemetery.
3. We know that the best way we can continue to show our love for you is to find someone who needs our love.
4. We will always find ways to share a wink wherever we go.
5. We know that even those most tender days are all a part of the privilege of having you.
6. I will always hold you close to my heart and when I am very still and listen, I can still feel your testimony.

I love you more than words can say. Thank you for the honor of being your mother. I am forever changed. I am forever thankful.
Love,
Mom

6 comments:

Lotti said...: Beautiful post. It must be so hard to lose one that you love so much, but to know that they are at peace and live on must be very comforting.; August 10, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Janae said...: Hugs to you all. You are an angel, April. I'm sure Caleb misses all of you so much.; August 10, 2012 at 4:03 PM
brigette said...: Hugs to your sweet family. I can just picture him doing his work up in heaven. I love how much you guys do to keep him encorporated into your every day lives. I will never think of a wink in the same way again. Big hugs!; August 10, 2012 at 8:36 PM
arianne said...: Lovely words. The blog looks beautiful as well.; August 11, 2012 at 8:27 AM
shirlgirl said...: Your post is beautiful. Have missed you. Glad to see that you are back.; August 11, 2012 at 2:14 PM
Janene Baadsgaard said...: I miss my sweet grandson Caleb too.; August 14, 2012 at 8:00 AM

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.