Thankful

It has been a whole year since we've been admitted to the hospital. One year ago we were just getting home from Caleb's g tube and nissin surgery. That surgery ended a long season of surgeries, pneumonias and hospital stays.

We came home with a ventilator so we could hook Caleb up to it at night and hopefully help his lungs improve. Bringing a ventilator home was an extremely difficult decision for me. I didn't want him to need it. I was worried that I'd eventually find myself in a place where he was needing it more and more, and I wouldn't know when enough was enough.

After praying about it, we decided to bring it home and use it as we saw fit. We felt like if it helped Caleb feel happy in his body, and if it helped us keep him at home rather than the hospital, then it would be worth it.

Now that it's been a whole year without a hospital stay, I would say it has been worth it. Especially now because Caleb has RSV. He has also developed pneumonia as a secondary infection. Because we have the ventilator so far we've been able to treat him at home. He's on antibiotics and is requiring extra oxygen through his ventilator- but he's HOME. He's been pretty sick, but we've been able to keep him stable. Today he even perked up long enough to give me a smile.

I still don't know what the future holds. I still don't always know how I feel about having a ventilator at home. I still don't want him to need it. But today....I'm thankful.