Wink from Heaven: Moments I don't want to forget: Movie Nights

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Moments I don't want to forget: Movie Nights

Since having Caleb we have become night owls. His feeding and medication schedules have made it necessary to stay up with him until around midnight. As a result, we have some really sweet quiet time with him after we tuck the other boys in bed. For the past several months Dallan Caleb and I have been watching the "Larkrise to Candleford" BBC series in those later hours of the night. I sit on the couch and make a nest out of my legs for Caleb to sit in. I cover us up with blankets, and we watch an episode together. He melts into all of my space and rests his fuzzy little head against me.

I never want to forget the way it feels to have Caleb fill up my lap. I don't want to forget how sweet his hair smells when I rub my nose in it. I don't want to forget how peaceful it is to have him breathing with me, and I don't want to forget how sometimes we get so cozy we fall asleep together. Finally, I never want to forget how much I love to watch his little legs dangle over Dallan's arms as he's carried off to bed.

We love this time so much, that even on the nights when we could go to bed earlier... we don't.

Can you blame us?

6 comments:

Jenn said...: Those are such sweet memories! I've been watching that show on occasion too, when Chase is working and I'm up late with the baby :); September 21, 2011 at 3:39 PM
The Kings said...: Totally understand :) We love the late nights with Noah too when his brothers are all in bed :); September 22, 2011 at 12:37 AM
shirlgirl said...: Such precious moments for you.; September 22, 2011 at 3:38 PM
Brad and Hailey said...: So sweet!; September 23, 2011 at 1:26 PM
Lisa said...: That is one of the most tender posts I have read. I think that is the hardest things about loosing these angels is having your arms empty.; September 25, 2011 at 9:28 PM
Jenny said...: AH! I was just having the same thoughts about Samantha the other day. Those are precious precious moments.; September 27, 2011 at 8:26 AM

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.