Our last day: Part 1 of 3

Our record of sweet Caleb's last 24 hours.

(February 9, 2012 6:00 PM -February 10, 2012 7:00 AM)

I haven't known how I would ever be able to write about our hardest days.  However, I know it is important for me and our little family to have record of what happened.  Because there are so many details I don't want to forget and so many tender mercies  intertwined in our most tender hours, I need to record this chapter of Caleb's story.  Though the details are hard, is my prayer that as you read about Caleb's last hours your heart will be touched by his love and light.  I hope you will feel the Lord's embrace as we have.  I hope that you will feel of our love, the Lord's love and Caleb's love.

Caleb hadn't really been feeling well since December.  He battled one virus after another which was typical for Caleb in the Winter.  We were watching Caleb carefully for signs of pneumonia, but there was no indication that his illnesses had developed into a secondary infection.  I was watching carefully, his nurses were watching carefully and his pediatrician was as well.  It had been almost 4 weeks since his last doctor visit, and I was debating whether it was time to take him back in to make sure his lungs were still okay.  I always thought twice before taking him to the pediatrician because I was so worried about exposing him to more illnesses.  The night of  February 8th, I knelt and prayed to Heavenly Father.  I pleaded "If there is anything going on with Caleb, please make it evident so I know what to do."
The very next day, He did.

The next morning, Caleb was more lethargic, but being lethargic also wasn't uncommon for Caleb so I continued to watch him carefully.  He had vision therapy that morning and seemed peaceful and restful.  His oxygen numbers were still in normal range, and he was extra snugly.   Later that afternoon as I was holding him on the couch  I saw his color start to change.  His oxygen numbers still looked good, but I could see his color turning more pale and could feel his body temperature getting colder.  Those are definite signs that Caleb has pneumonia so I made a 6:00 PM appointment with the pediatrician.  I took Caleb in for his appointment, and the doctor confirmed  he did indeed have pneumonia and suggested I take him to Utah Valley hospital.  I have always taken Caleb right to Primary Children's hospital, but because there was a wonderful doctor on call at Utah Valley and an excellent respiratory therapist, I decided to go there and be closer to home.   I was very optimistic we would be in the hospital for the IV medication he needed and that we would be home in no time. 

We arrived at the hospital between 7:30 and 8:00 PM .  We were checked right in and an IV was quickly placed so medication could be administered.  A chest x ray showed that Caleb's left lung was completely white, and the pneumonia was severe.  Shortly after we arrived Caleb started having blood come out of his trach (another sign he had a respiratory infection) and he started needing more oxygen.  His body temperature was still really low so they put a bubble blanket over him to help him warm up.  It took a couple of hours to get him on a ventilator, but he seemed to respond well once he had some extra support.  I called Dallan at around 10:30 PM  and was feeling quite confident that Caleb was stable and would have a peaceful night.

About an hour later, Caleb didn't seem to be ventilating well.  His oxygen numbers weren't where they should be even though he was on the ventilator with 100 % oxygen.  The respiratory therapist and doctors started to become quite concerned.  They were watching his blood gasses carefully and changed his ventilator settings to function like an Oscillator.  They turned him onto his stomach and propped him up to see if that position would help him move air better. I was really worried that Caleb might be headed to a sepsis state.  The only other time he hasn't responded well to being on a ventilator was his last severe pneumonia which went septic and quickly brought him into a critical situation.

The doctors were also watching his lactate levels closely.  That number shows whether or not the body tissues are getting enough oxygen.  That number started to rise, and Caleb also started to have diarrhea.  Caleb's blood pressure also started to drop so they had to start him on Dopamine. The nurses had to continually give him fluid to help his blood pressure so he started to look really puffy.  In a matter of hours Caleb went from being quite stable to being critically sick. I turned to the doctor who I greatly admire and asked him if he would be willing to give Caleb a blessing.  He kindy agreed and grabbed another doctor to assist him.  He gave Caleb a very sweet and optimistic blessing that he would respond to treatment and return home to his family who loves him dearly. 

At  4:30 AM Caleb's lactate level rose to a high enough number that the staff started to communicate with primary children's hospital about assembling a flight team.  I called Dallan who was taking care of the boys at home and asked him to come to the hospital because things weren't going well.  My mom met him at our house and spent the rest of the night with our boys.  Dallan arrived at around 5:00 AM and the flight team arrived shortly after.

 

At this point Caleb was not stable.  Even though the flight would only take 10 minutes, transporting him was quite precarious because he was needing so much support. The wonderful staff got him all ready to go and wrapped him up in a snuggly bag to keep him warm on the flight.  Dallan and I weren't able to fly with him because there was so much equipment, but we quickly followed.  We made it outside in time to see the flight team loading him in the helicopter.  We saw them take off in the early morning light and  drove to Primary Children's as quickly as we could.

We knew Caleb was sick... really sick... but Caleb has been really sick many times and has always been able to get better. As worried as we were, we were still very hopeful that Caleb would recover.

We drove to the hospital as the sun rose, not knowing  we would drive home after the sun set without our little boy.