Wink from Heaven: Ben's funeral

Friday, June 18, 2010

Ben's funeral

I haven't been able to write about little Ben's funeral.
I've been too tender.
It seems too sacred.
The best place for you to read about those special days are on his blog,
through the voice of his mother.
There just aren't words to express such a tender and spiritual event. It was an honor to be there. Even though Becky and I live on opposite sides of the country, I love her like a sister and my heart aches with her.
I am forever thankful for the honor of knowing Ben.
I am touched by the love felt from heaven and earth at his funeral.
I am privileged to have such special and eternal friends.

Emily is another cherished friend that I love like a sister. She also has a little boy similar to Caleb and Ben. It was such a tender blessing to travel together and share the weekend with one another.

I love you angel Ben. "Because I knew you...
my life has changed for good."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...: Devastating to lose a child. Thinking of you and your friends family. xx; June 18, 2010 at 5:54 PM
Becky said...: such beautiful pictures you have April. Thank you for sharing them with me and I could NEVER thank you enough for coming to the funeral. I love you dearly. xoxo; June 18, 2010 at 7:42 PM
shirlgirl said...: April, it was awesome to meet you. Unfortunately I didn't get to meet Emily. I am so glad that Becky has you all in her life. I know that your being there last Friday and Saturday was very comforting for her because you know first hand the sorrow in her heart and you share that with her and with all of us. Love to you. Your post is lovely and your pictures wonderful.; June 19, 2010 at 8:13 AM
Tara Bennett said...: I'm so glad you were able to be there. I'm sure you were a great comfort for Becky. What a special friendship brought to be by two special boys!; June 19, 2010 at 1:03 PM
The Kings said...: SO nice that you got to go and be with Becky and her family and celebrate Ben's life.; June 19, 2010 at 2:23 PM
Unknown said...: you are MY sister too.
I love you!
(and THANK YOU for being such a tender and compassionate support)
xo; June 21, 2010 at 7:43 AM
Wiggles said...: What a tender tribute for our special boy from a wonderful friend. I was so happy to be able to meet you in person. Thank you for being there for Becky.; June 27, 2010 at 6:54 PM

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.