Sweet moments with Caleb

We sure enjoy our special little boy!





This was the first time Caleb every went upstairs! He was able to be away from his oxygen for a little while. Josh and Matthew were so excited!

February 24, 2005

February 24, 2005

Hi our family and friends that we love!
Caleb is 7 weeks old today! He is doing well and now weighs 8 pounds 5 ounces! His little cheeks are getting chubby, and he's starting to grow into his skin! He is an absolute delight and we're so thankful you let us continue to share our sweetheart with you!
In our little family I have a birthday tradition of making up trivia questions for the birthday person- so here are a few "Caleb Trivia" questions you might not know:)

1. What are Josh's nicknames for Caleb?
Mister Caleb Bubbas (I'm not sure why- but he and Matthew call him "Bubbas" quite often:)

2. What are Matthew's nicknames for Caleb?
"Ta-wub" Bubbas Little Cay

3. What Color is Caleb's eye
BLUE

4. Who do Caleb's hands look like-- Mom or Dad?
MOM-- nice long fingers!

5. What are Caleb's favorite songs that the boys sing him?
I am a child of God
Families can be together forever

6. What does Matthew leave in Caleb's crib every day?
New toys for him to "play with"-- the other day I walked in and Caleb had a big rubber lizard laying across his tummy with the head right next to his. I knew Matthew had been visiting him!

7. What does Caleb's pediatrician call him?
His "little Israelite prince"-- and "Elder Caleb"

8. What does Josh bring to church with him so that he can check on Caleb whenever he feels worried about him?
A cell phone

9. Where does Caleb have the most hair?
In the back! He has a lot more hair than either of our other boys. On top, he has a nice little spike that the boys love to poke up and rub their faces on.

10. How many wires and tubes does Caleb have attached to him?
4- one on each side of his chest to monitor his breathing and heart rate- one feeding tube- and one sat monitor on his foot that monitors his oxygen saturation and heart rate.

11. Who does Caleb love the most?
All of you for loving and serving him and his family!!!!!!

Happy 7 week birthday Caleb!

February 15, 2005

Hi our favorite family and friends,
Caleb is almost 6 weeks old! We truly cherish each day we have with him. Taking care of him doesn't feel like work, it feels like such a privilege. He is so beautiful and full of love. Our hearts are so full of love for him, and the love we feel in return from him is so amazing.

His doctors and nurses are amazed that he appears to be thriving given his circumstances! We have a sweet pediatrician who makes house calls to come and check on Caleb. He says "Caleb is just being loved into being here." Our hospice nurse has shared with her department how responsive Caleb is and how much he loves being loved. They are all amazed when they see how he Caleb responds to me. I think that Caleb and Heavenly Father know that it heals my heart to see that Caleb knows that I'm his mother.

The other day we unhooked Caleb from all of his monitors and his feeding tube. We put him in the real bathtub with his two brothers and let them all have a bath together! It was just priceless to see 'my 3 sons' all in the tub with one another. Josh and Matthew were tickled to have a bath with their baby brother, and Caleb loved it! His cute little body just floated in the water while I held his head and lathered him up!

Every Thursday we celebrate a birthday for Caleb as he turns 1 week older. Josh and Matthew love to celebrate with him and sing "Happy birthday." Yesterday they each taped a Valentine to Caleb's crib and sang "Happy Valentines Day to you!" Caleb is teaching us how wonderful it is to find the joy in each day and live in the present.

I was visiting with my mom recently, and we were discussing whether or not Caleb can see out of his sweet little eye. We both agreed that it didn't matter because Caleb can truly "see" more than we can. My mom later shared a scripture she found in Matthew 6:22

"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thane eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."

I found a similar scripture in D&C 88:67
"And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehended all things."

We are so thankful for our little miracle. The overwhelming love we feel for him gives us just a glimpse of the way that our Heavenly Father loves us. The tenderness of knowing our time with him will be limited is also surrounded by so much sweetness. I wish there was a "heart language" that could portray the sweetness that surrounds us as we watch our 3 boys love each other, as we feel Caleb's sweet little body in our arms, and as we feel the love that has filled our home to overflowing.

Thank you for "loving our little boy into being here" Thank you for loving our little family and our little Caleb. He is full of love and light!

Caleb's four week birthday!

(from my journal)
...Happy four week birthday, Caleb! We hung a Happy birthday sign over your crib today You were visited by 4 of my aunts and they brought you a special window box where we can display your special things....I am so humbled as I whitness the way that you touch hearts and change lives everyday. You have united our entire ward and extended family. You have taught us what perfect love feels like. I watch the way people linger at your crib side and don't want to leave your presence...




Shortly after Caleb was born, a sweet friend from our ward came over to take a family picture of us. It was really important to me to have a family picture with all of my little boys since we don't know how long we get to have Caleb with us.

Special days with Caleb

We have a birthday party every week for Caleb! Every Thursday we make a special treat and sing happy birthday to Caleb! We just love every minute!

January 18, 2005 (from my journal) You are such a special little boy. Your body is so small, yet your spirit has filled our whole house with love....every moment I get with you is pure joy. I'm trying not to look to far into your future and just soak in every minute...










Matthew loves to share his toys with Caleb! Josh and Matthew are so sweet with Caleb. They spend a lot of time at his bed side singing him songs and holding his hands. They've had a hard time leaving the house because they don't want to leave their brother behind. I finally had to give them both pictures they could keep in their pockets and a cell phone so they could call and check on him any time they wanted.

January 31,2005

January 31, 2005

Hi everyone!
I just wanted to send out a few more photos of sweet little Caleb and let you know how he's doing!
Last Thursday he turned 3 weeks old! We celebrated with some cupcakes that a sweet neighbor brought over and blew out candles in his room with him to celebrate! Last week we also increased his Seizure medication after a few hard days, and that has seemed to help him have more relax time in between seizures so that he can breath easier and be restful. Caleb had his first "bathtub" bath on Saturday since his cord finally came off! He was so cute as he let me scrub him all up. It was so fun to lather up his sweet little body and rub lotion all over him. He smelled so good, and I couldn't stop sniffing him the whole day! He has so much hair in the back and after it's washed, it gets so cute and fluffy. He loves to have his hair and head brushed with those spongy brushes that the nurses give you in the hospital. Matthew and Josh love to brush his hair for one of their special jobs. Josh likes to spike it up and then Matthew combs it down:)
Today Caleb was weighed, and now he's up to 7 pounds!! His cheeks are getting nice and round, and his little legs are starting to fill out. He has the cutest little toes that I just love to nibble every time I change the monitor on his foot!
Caleb has brought an overpowering spirit of love into our home. We feel so honored to be with him. Every time we change his diaper, rock him in the rocking chair, kiss his soft little cheeks, or even just stare at him through tear filled eyes-- we are reminded how much Heavenly Father must love us to bless us with this time with our little miracle. Our hearts are wrapped so tightly around our little baby. We are just so in love with him! He responds so much to love, and as we hug him, sing to him, or stroke his little face- his oxygen levels and heart rate always seem to improve.
We are so thankful for the faith and prayers of each of you and thank you with all of our hearts for the sharing your hearts with us. We love you!

January 23, 2005

Hi my cute family and friends!
I just wanted to pass along a few new photos of Caleb. It's so hard to capture how beautiful he is on camera! He is an absolute angel and his little body has filled our whole house with love. Josh and Matthew love to sing him "I am a Child of God" while they hold his hands. Caleb is so patient with his brothers and usually doesn't make a peep even when they want to hold him for a "really long turn." He has the cutest long fingers and his little legs have the sweetest loose wrinkly skin on them. I love to kiss his little neck, and his cheeks are so soft and irresistible!

January 18, 2005

January 18, 2005

Hi our sweet family and friends!
Thanks for indulging our updates about our little sweetheart.
Caleb is doing well. His pediatrician came to visit us at home yesterday and was pleased with how he looked. We really like our hospice nurse who really goes the extra mile to make sure our needs are met.
Caleb is such a little sweetheart. He is so patient and easy to sooth. He has brought an amazing spirit of love and strength to our little family. Our hearts are just so full of love for him! He recently smiled at me for the first time ( I KNOW he was smiling just for me:)
and a few days ago I gave him his first bath at home. He looked so cute a pink and his hair was puffy for the rest of the day. Josh loves to hold Caleb's hands and we often find him just quietly watching over him. Matty likes to sing Caleb the ABC's over and over again:) We're trying not to look too far into the future are just enjoying each day with our little miracle- even diaper changes are just sweet and fun!
Thank you so much for the ways that you share your hearts with us. We sure do love you all. We appreciate your concern and your prayers for our family.

Caleb's first days at home

Caleb had to pass a car seat test at the hospital to make sure he could remain stable enough for us to take him home. Caleb will be fed with a feeding tube, he'll need constant oxygen(that I only remove quickly to take pictures) and he'll be attached to lots of monitors.

January 14, 2005 (from my journal) Caleb, you came home today! We've been busy the past few days going back and forth from Salt Lake to be with you. We've also been learning how to use all of your equipment so that we can take good care of you...I know you'll love being here surrounded by your family who dearly love you. I promise I will do my best to take good care of you. I will love and cherish each day I get to spend with you, my angel baby!




January 16, 2005 (from my journal) Caleb, do you have any idea how beautiful you are? I could just stare at you all day! I love how soft your skin is and how sweet your neck smells! Today I gave you your first little bath. You looked adorable and pick. Your hair was nice and fluffy when I finished with you....Yesterday your smiled at me for the first time! You even had a cute little dimple that just melts me!

January 13, 2005

Hi our sweet family!
We just wanted to let you know the latest on our little angel boy, Caleb.
Our hearts are so full and tender as we get to spend these precious times with our little sweetheart.
One of my favorite days was Tuesday. Our doctor let me, Dallan and the boys take Caleb into a hospice room, and Josh and Matthew were able to see Caleb for the first time! Normally no children under age 18 are allowed, but our sweet doctor has been so kind to consider the needs of our little family during this time. Josh and Matthew were so excited and I was so touched as I watched them hold and interact with their little brother. Josh was so tender with Caleb and just couldn't stop hugging him and rubbing his face against Caleb's face. His little spirit was so full of joy to be with his baby brother. He didn't want to put him down. Matthew was so excited not to be "the littlest" anymore and just loved holding Caleb! He couldn't wipe the smile off of his face, and he loved playing with Caleb's little fingers. The boys were able to hold and snuggle their baby for two whole hours. As parents, our hearts were so touched to have such a special time together, because even when he's home, Caleb will have to spend most of his time under an oxygen mask.
The past few days have been really full as we've been learning how to use all of the hospice equipment so that we can take care of Caleb at our home. He will be coming home tomorrow (Friday). We are so excited to get to be near Caleb everyday! We know that even though we are overwhelmed with how we will be able to keep up with 24 hour care, our family is so blessed to have this little miracle in our lives.
We are so thankful for your prayers and for the many ways that you have shown your love for us over these past few days.
Thanks for opening your hearts to us

January 9, 2005

(from my journal) Dear Caleb, this morning I got to hold you for the first time! It was like being in Heaven! I couldn't hold back the tears as I held your sweet body in my arms. I just rocked you back and forth and tried to memorize every bit of you. Your sweet spirit just seems to heal my soul. It saddens me so much to know that I may spend much of my life missing you. Do you know how dear you are to me?...Do you understand that the hardest thing I will ever do is let you go?
Today was your blessing day. We were able to gather in a hospice room with Dad and I, your grandparents, one of my aunts and our bishop. Your blessing outfit was huge on you but you still looked like an angel....there was such a special spirit in the room and your Daddy gave you a beautiful blessing....Each of us had a chance to hold you. It was such a special afternoon. That night you weren't breathing very well and we thought you were going to be put on the ventilator again. We were told to be prepared to decide whether or not we would want to do that or just let you go. My heart was in agony as I contemplated letting you go before I was ready. Fortunately, the doctors were able to re-position you and get you breathing again.
...as I was alone in my hospital room that night I was overcome with sadness. I just can't bear the thought of losing you...I want you to know how much I treasure you and although I don't understand why things need to be this way, I know that the Lord knows our needs and will comfort my breaking heart...

January 8, 2005

April continues to progress nicely. We're hoping she'll agree to come home to us tomorrow or Monday. She sends her love and promises that e-mails from her account will shortly be much more entertaining and sweet.
Caleb is as handsome as ever. We're currently working to get him ready to come home to us to enjoy him as long as the Lord permits. He's having his challenges but feels the love of all his family supporting him. We'll be giving him a name and a blessing tomorrow in a small gathering of his parents and grandparents. So he'll soon be officially: Caleb Joseph Moody.

Thank you all for your faith and prayers. We absolutely feel the Lord's presence as we go along.
Dallan, April, Josh, Matthew, and Caleb

Hospital days

Caleb was in the NICU at primary children's hospital for 8 days. He was so sweet and patient with all of us. He only needed a ventilator for a few days, then was able to breath with supplemental oxygen. It became apparent to all of us that there was nothing more that could be done for him in the hospital,so we prepared to take him home.



Caleb's nurse made us hand molds of him. He held his fingers in the shape of the "love" sign. What a sweet message from our little boy.

January 7, 2005

Dear Caleb,
Today we spoke with your doctor and he explained many things to us. Your brain has not formed. It appears there is little they can do but stabilize you and prepare you to come home with us.... they don't expect you to live for more than a few weeks....at this moment I don't think my heart can bear the thought of letting you go. How can I look into that precious face knowing that my time is limited? I just want to stop this moment in time and hang on to it forever.... I wish I could choose the outcome, but I know your eternal outcome is already known. I pray that your spirit knows how much you are cherished. Each day I have with you is a treasured blessing....

January 6, 2005

Our little Caleb was born today! We woke up early to go to the U of U hospital. It was hard to believe that we were finally going to see Caleb! I was hooked up to lots of monitors and was visited by hosts of doctors who tried to prepare me for the worst. My nurse privately told me that no matter what happened, she would make sure I got to see him before he was whisked away.
Caleb was born at around 10:30 AM. His little cry was was music to my ears! I got a quick glance before he was passed through a little window into the NICU. I got another glimpse of him as I was wheeled into my recovery room, and he was being prepared for transport to Primary Children's hospital. He was beautiful! In spite of the challenges I knew were ahead, I was just tickled so see my new little boy. His spirit is so big, and he just radiates with love.

(from my journal) Dear Caleb, you are here my precious boy! I am so full of love for you, my heart can't contain it all. I thought my heart would burst when I heard you cry after you were born. When they held you up for me to see, it was like looking at an angel! I knew today would be a life changing day for all us- and it was. My life has been forever changed for the better because you are in it. I only got to see you for a few moments, but those moments will be treasured for my whole life.

January 2004

Dear Caleb,
A new year has begun and we're only a few weeks away from meeting you...We look so forward to meeting you. I know that no matter what happens-you are a miracle to me. I would do anything for you... my love for you gives me courage and hope! I know the Lord will stay by our side forever. Thank you for these past few months of getting to know you before I can even hold you in my arms. I already love you more than words can say.

December 2004

Dear Caleb.... I know that you and your brothers must have been close because they feel such a loving connection to you and you're not even born yet. The other day Josh was hugging my tummy and he said, "Caleb, I'm so sorry you only have one eye. You are so cute and snuggly." Caleb, I am so proud of you for accepting this mortal challenge. I pray for you every day and I know that Heavenly Father is taking care of both of us with great love and tenderness...

November 2004

Dear Caleb,
Last Sunday your extended family had a special fast for you. It was such a special feeling to know that so many people we love were on their knees for our little family. You are cared about by so many people...Your brothers pray for you every day and they always include you as a character in their bed time stories
...Yesterday you gave me a special gift. I was in the hospital for a non stress test. I was listening to your heart beat and was paying attention to every move you made. When a nurse started the ultra sound, I asked to see your hand. A doctor had previously told us that your hands are usually in fists which is a sign of neurological difficulties. This time though, when the nurse found your hand on the screen, you opened and closed your little fingers just like you were waving at me. This was a little miracle for me. Thank you for warming my heart and for putting a smile on my face for the rest of the day.