Several nights ago I had a tender and teary conversation with Dallan about the resurrection. I've been taught that we are resurrected with a perfect body. In the past that has been such a reassurance to me, but now I find myself wishing that I could have Caleb back the same way he was when he died. I've never felt like Caleb was broken or needed to be fixed. I loved his little body just the way it was.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the privilege of caring for Caleb in his precious little mortal body.
I know the time we had with him on the earth was priceless.
I don't know if I'll ever feel like I had enough time with him here.
As I've reflected on our time together as a family on earth, I've realized I'll never have any of my boys back that same way I have them now. My contemplative 12 year old Josh, 10 year old passionate Matthew and 5 year old sparkly Mitchell will never be the same way I have them now.
It is a rare gift we are given to experience these precious souls as children in mortality.
I want to soak in every minute with my greatest gifts because I know they won't be little boys forever.
In the eternities I know I won't long to have my children back in a particular physical state. I believe I knew my children before our time together on the earth. I think our mortal experiences sweeten the relationship that has always existed.
But for now, I want to soak up these precious mortal moments with each child and tuck them in special place in my heart where they will stay with me for all eternity.
(Mitchell on a recent trip to feed the ducks)
12 comments:
I left a message on your blog, but I'll leave one here, too. This is a beautiful post, and I absolutely love all of the pictures--the one with the ducks really tickle me--such innocence.
What beautiful words and wisdom. I loved Caleb's body just the way it was also.
Beautiful. And perfect. That's something I want to remember.
Oh my goodness you are the first one to share what I have felt ever since my Ailish (hydranencephaly) left us one year ago. I have wanted her back just as she was. I at no point thought she suffered, was trapped in her body or was imperfect in any way. All of these descriptions have been offered me as some sort of consolation in her passing. I am so glad to hear that someone else feels as I do.
Aaron and I had a similar conversation. That we wanted Noah back just how he used to be. xxx
what a little cutie. thank you for this reminder...that i need to slow down and cherish it all.
Your thoughts are so beautiful. I can't tell you how touched I have been by your story and your son's life. It has changed me in a powerful way.
I am also wondering if you might be willing to share his story (or anything you would like) on a blog I co-author called "The Gift of Giving Life" (thegiftofgivinglife.com)
Our goal is to help remind people about the spiritual aspects of giving birth and of bringing God's children to the earth. I would love it if you'd consider writing something (or using something you have already written) for our blog. If you are interested would you email me at heatherlady@gmail.com
Thanks!
Thank you for sharing such precious thoughts. It is a beautiful reminder of my sweet children also
There is no greater gift than being a mother. I too want to cherish the time that I have with them here in mortality...to soak up every moment.
I've just been reading and reading and reading quite a ways back on to your blog. Thank you for writing and sharing such personal feelings and thoughts. They really bring the spirit and put everything into the right perspective. I often get sad when I think about my boys growing up for the same reason... not because I don't want them to grow... but because it's hard to say good bye to that sweet time when they're so small and innocent.
I have been reading your blog today and it has brought me such peace and joy. Thank you so much for sharing your journey as a mother and daughter of God with us!! I want to say so much more, but for now, thank you will have to do.
I have been reading your blog today and have felt so much peace and joy. Thank you for sharing your testimony and journey as a mother and daughter of God! I want to say so much more, but for now "thank you" will have to do.
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