Wink from Heaven: A holiday in the hospital

Thursday, December 25, 2008

A holiday in the hospital

This was a Christmas that we will always remember....
Caleb hadn't been feeling well the past few days and his breathing had become more rapid and shallow. He wasn't able to stay saturated with oxygen the way he should. Yesterday we gave him some motrin at about 7:00 PM and for the next hour the motrin kept oozing out of his trach. He also started constantly oozing blood out of his trach. We thought he was probably aspirating so I called the on-call doctor. He asked us to take him right in the the ER at Primary Children's hospital. It wasn't what he had planned for Christmas Eve, but Dallan and I did some arranging for Santa Claus, and packed up for a holiday trip to the hospital.
Derek and Shantal wonderful to help us! Shantal stayed with our sleeping boys and Derek followed us to the hospital so that Dallan and I could be with Caleb (one to drive, the other to suction) We also planned for Derek to drive Dallan home after we got checked in so that he could be home with the boys on Christmas morning.
We made it through a snowstorm and got checked in at 11:59 PM-- still Christmas Eve!! He was hooked up to oxygen,tests were run and chest X rays were taken. It appeared that Caleb aspirated and was battling pneumonia. Dallan and Derek left at around 2:30 AM and shortly afterward,Caleb was taken to the floor. The doctors and nurses tried for hours to stabilize Caleb, but his blood pressure was dangerously low, and even at 100% oxygen, he wasn't able to stay saturated. Finally at about 7:00AM, Caleb was taken to the PICU. He continued to have blood ooze out of his trach and his color was pale and pasty. He was put on a C PAP through his trach, and that helped him stay more saturated with oxygen. The blood oozing from the trach finally finally started to lessen at about 5:00 tonight. When I left the hospital, he was much more stable. His blood pressure was within normal range and his oxygen has been weaned down to 60 %. He's still on C PAP, but hopefully he'll continue to improve.
I don't think I'll ever forget this Christmas... Caleb and I in the hospital and Dallan and the boys not feeling well at home....
But Christmas came! It came just the same! Our stockings were filled with great prizes and treats- there were presents to open stacked under the tree. There were presents from Santa that surprised us all, and even though achy, the boys had a ball! Our hearts were sure tender, but still full of love, for the gift of our Savior from Father above!

1 comment:

shirlgirl said...: Reading this blog today reminds me so much of the many writings of Becky's about Ben--holidays in the hospital, birthdays, etc. I'm glad Caleb is doing better. I just read one of your November writings. I sit here all choked up because Becky could be writing these. She has a special angel who has been trained in caring for Ben which gives her time with her other children. For the nurses who live nearby to offer their help so you can go to church is awesome. You and your family are truly blessed, as is Becky's. I know she can't wait to meet you in the spring and to meet Caleb and for Ben to meet his buddy. Christmas lasts for 12 days until January 6th, so even though you couldn't be there on Christmas morning with your boys, you can still celebrate every day. God Bless all of you. I will have Caleb put on our prayer list at church. I belong to the Episcopal church but have been to many sacrament meetings and Baptisms at the LDS church. My very favorite hymn is, "I Am a Child of God".; December 26, 2008 at 8:03 AM

Prayer for Caleb

(written by Caleb's Grandma in her weekly column -2008-)

In my family we have a secret code to communicate our love for each other when we are out in public. We wink. When one of us is about to perform or speak, we look for a family member’s face in the crowd. Then we wink at each other. Closing one eye and winking is our secret code for saying, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

About three years ago, my grandson Caleb was born into our family. He must have known before birth that he would never be able to speak to us because he was born with one eyelid permanently closed. So, he is always “winking” at us, always communicating, “I love you. You can do it. You’re wonderful.”

Caleb has one eye lid permanently closed because he is missing one of his eyes . . . and he is also missing his brain. All the doctors said he would die soon after birth. They were wrong. Caleb is three years old. He is a medical miracle. The doctors say he can’t see, hear, speak, think or move. Those who know and love Caleb understand he has his own unique way of experiencing the world and communicating his love to those around him.

After Caleb was born the hospice people told us to buy a burial plot and continually warned us of his imminent death. We soon learned you can not live well in a state of fear and sadness. We decided we could spend Caleb’s entire life anxious and scared he might die at any moment, or we could celebrate each day we were blessed to have him with us. In the beginning, my daughter April celebrated Caleb’s birthday every week instead of every year with balloons and cupcakes because we simply did not know how long we would have him with us. We stopped the cupcakes after we gained ten pounds, but the celebrating goes on.

We all prayed for a miracle when we first learned about Caleb’s condition. We got one. Caleb’s birth, life and mission have had a deep and lasting impact on our lives. His spirit, eternal identity and most of all the loving, individual relationship he has with each of us is truly a miracle. Because of Caleb we know that each of us has a divine purpose and that the physical body is a sacred gift we should never take for granted. We better understand the worth of a soul and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Caleb’s five year old brother Matthew said, “Grandma. The doctors said Caleb was going to die, but he didn’t. That’s the first miracle I ever saw!”

Sometimes Caleb’s baby brother Mitchell pulls out his feeding tube while they hold hands riding together in their double stroller. Sometimes the only intervention that can get Caleb’s heart rate up is when his older brothers Josh and Matty crawl in his crib, hug him and sing, “I am a Child of God.” ...If you have a moment please offer a prayer for the little boy who has never been able to utter a single word and yet has taught everyone who knows and loves him – all the secrets of a rich and meaningful life.